


I'm Sorry

by Dressed_up_in_gold



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, M/M, like this is literally just pain, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4882867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dressed_up_in_gold/pseuds/Dressed_up_in_gold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Haise remembers Shuu but its too late</p><p>-short, purely for angst purposes, drabble-</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry

Shuu blinked again, trying to keep the tears at bay. This wasn't how it was suppose to be. his heart ached in his chest, threatening to shatter into a million peices. He should be at home, with his father and his servants. Instead he was what? Running? Hiding from the people trying to take away his family.

He was surrounded, now he stood alone. Matsume tried to protect him but she could only do so much against the investigators. Cold wind blew through his hair and he wished it would carry him away, take him home again. The spotlight from the helicopter illuminated the field. He had ran this far, escaped the crash of his own helicopter and took off.

This was his fight. Sasaki stood only a few meters away, his stern face filled with a hate that he couldn't describe. He could hear Kaneki, or at least the voice that called himself Kaneki, in the back of his mind, screaming to think this through. He pushed it to the back of his mind. Tsukiyama was a ghoul and his job was to exterminate ghouls.

"Tsukiyama Shuu stand down!" Sasaki yelled, his hand clenching and unclenching, every nerve on edge. He was doing his job, this was how it was suppose to be.

Shuu stayed silent. Would he really be able to fight Kaneki? Even if he was trying to kill him?

"Kaneki, please return to your senses!" He tried to keep his voice calm but it wavered. "Stop this nonsense!"

His jaw clenched as he spoke. _listen to him._  The voice interrupted. _please don't leave him._   _I can't lose him again._  

"SHUT UP!" Sasaki screamed aloud.

"I don't want to hurt you, Kaneki!" Tears rolled down Shuus cheek. _please bring him back to me._  He pleaded to whatever god existed. _bring my Kaneki back._  

"I'M NOT KANEKI!" His kagune unfurled as he readied for a fight. Don't do this. The voice yelled. _This is not how it's suppose to be_.

"I'm begging you. Please just remember." Shuus voice cracked as a sob escaped. Was this how it all ended. Pure pain seemed to course through him, no matter what happened he would still lose Kaneki. Did he really want to live in a world where he didn't have him. His hand dropped to his side as his kagune appeared, he wouldn't fight, he knew he couldn't fight.

Everything seemed to fall silent. Sasaki moved to attack but Shuu had already made his decision. His body didn't move, he didn't block, didn't even flinch as the kagune pierced through him. "Kaneki, if you're in there, I forgive you." It was a whisper, he knew the boy would blame himself and he just couldn't have that. He closed his eyes as another tentacle ripped through his torso.

 _PLEASE, NO! STOP IT!_  The voice seemed to fill his head as it screamed. Sasaki was to far gone, he was invested in this. It was what was right. Right?

The gourmet sunk to the ground. This was one time he would let go, it was almost bittersweet. He managed to smile softly, sucking in a shallow breathe as the world seemed to fade. _I'm sorry Kaneki._   _I'm sorry I couldnt save you._ _Forgive me._

Haise could only watch as the ghoul fell to the ground, not even attempting to fight, blood splattered on his face and he raised a hand, wiping his cheek. His eyes memorized Shuu's face, he looked so peaceful, his eyes closed as if he was only sleeping. Everything was too surreal. Images flashed before his mind. A rooftop. Fighting. The mask. Shuu crying. He squeezed his eyes shut. His legs buckled and he dropped to his knees next to the body. He could feel himself fading, the voice had gone silent only a soft sobbing sound filled his head and he found that tears were running down his face.

_hide._

_Rize._ _The date. Attacked._

_Half ghoul. Touka. The cafe._

_Gourmet food. Shuu._

_Yamori. Torture. Whats 1000 minus 7. Pain._

_be stronger. Stronger. Good boy._

_Im a ghoul._

_Shuu._

_Shuu._

_Shuu._  

"Shuu!" Haise sobbed. Holding his head in his hands. Everything, he remembered everything. Now it was Haises turn to let go. Kaneki seemed to override all his systems taking over the body that belonged to him.

"I'm so sorry!" He shook as he cried. "I never wanted any of this!" Kaneki let out a strangled scream, emotions that had been bottled up in Haises head bubbling to the surface. He felt completely numb, as if this couldn't be happening. "I'm so sorry!" Was all he could manage to get out. He looked out into the distance, any second now the radio would call in, wondering why Haise was sitting there.

In that moment he had never had so many regrets. He should of told him sooner. Kissed him that one time he got to close. Complemented him on those silly heels he bought. Mentioned that he loved him when they were training together. His voice was cracking and he was sure that it came out as a broken sob but he had to say it, just once.  _Shuu if you can hear me_

 

"I love you."


End file.
